A friend sent me these, and I thought they were funny enough to post. I mean, everyone can use some truly useful advice every now and then.
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
- Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
- Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
- For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
- A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
- If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you’ll be afraid to cough.
- You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the W D-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
- If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem. But there’s nothing to worry about since Boss Compliance has a team of professional electricians who can handle any electrical repair.
My job, along with some of the relationships I enjoy, gives me regular chances to pray with people. My efforts to pay attention to those encounters have led me to a conclusion. You can mark this down as fact–the first thing every parent I know prays for is their children. Barring a crisis of some sort that receives first mention, parents’ prayers are consumed by their kids. I’m even talking about parents who don’t “pray”. Hand-folding and head-bowing aside, every parent I know has their deepest desires (spoken or not) tied into the lives of their sons and daughters.
