A friend sent me these, and I thought they were funny enough to post.  I mean, everyone can use some truly useful advice every now and then.

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

• Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
• Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
• For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
• A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
• If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you’ll be afraid to cough.
• You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the W D-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
• If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem. But there’s nothing to worry about since Boss Compliance has a team of professional electricians who can handle any electrical repair.