Kids are Funny

B Toys LogoOver the past couple years, we have purchased a few toys produced by Battat Inc.

Within each toy is a small booklet filled with quotes from children. You can submit your own real-life examples to the company HERE.

Here are a few sources of recent smiles and laughter:

“If mommies make babies, and trees make air, then what do we need daddies for?” (Allison, 4)

“Mommy, how does a bee sting of porcupine?” (Amelia, 4)

Callie, 8: “Do people eat cow tongue?”
Mom: “Yes.”
Callie: “Ewwww… It might have grass on it!”

“The baby is naked… ewwwww! Can’t you eat some parents or something so he isn’t naked?!”  (Haley, 8, upon seeing the 4D ultrasound of the baby)

“Before you say mean things about someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Now they can hear you, and you have a free pair of shoes!” (Hannah, 9)

“Don’t THINK. Just follow mommy’s directions.” (Grace, 6, in car with Grandpa who said, “I think we should turn here.”)

Ethan, 3: “Mom, are these both my grandmas?”
Mom: “This is your great grandma and this is your grandma.”
Ethan: “Oh!! This is my great grandma and this is my bad grandma! Right mom?”

“If you drilled through the earth and came out the other side, you’d be upside down. But if you drove there you’d be right side up. That’s why they have all these roads.” (Sawyer, 5)

“My friends, this is my hooker.” (Adam, 3, while holding a tow truck during show and tell)

“That’s a jellyfish. Now we need to find a peanut butter fish.” (Josephine, 3)

“Mom! Stop!! Be careful, there are boys in the Ivy!” (Robert, 6)

“Did you know my uncle Tony is driving around the country in a winning bagel?” (Sean, 5, telling a relative his uncle was going cross-country in an RV)

“Soda is not good for your body. You drink it and then you want more and more. The next thing you know, you are smoking.” (Alyssa, 5)

“Jazz is my favorite color of music!” (Keeley, 2)

“I’m going to have five children and name them Cabbage, French Toast, Table, Shower, and Chair.” (Skye, 6)

Maddie, 4: “What does it mean that it’s Election Day?”
Mom: “Today everyone picks who they want to be President and run our country.”
Maddie: “Oh. I hope they don’t pick me.”

Water is composed of two gins: Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.” (Sam, 11, in response to question on sixth-grade science quiz)

“it’s not real anymore.” (Brody, 2, referring to “outside” when his car window was rolled)

“Mommy, you’re the most beautiful woman in the whole world I ever saw before I left the house.” (Callie, 2)

“My triceratops is afraid of our dust bunnies.” (Clara, 4)

“If the day I came out of your belly is called my birthday, what is the day I went in called?” (Rio, 4)

YOUR TURN: Any favourites? Any chucklers or stunners you remember coming out of your own kids’ mouths? Your comments make this post better.

[You can subscribe to this blog via RSS or email, in the upper right corner of this page.]

How Great is Our God

How Great is Our GodA year ago, I posted about my intentions for a year’s worth of devotionals from this book. I entered 2012, fully aware that I had never succeeded in utilizing any daily devotional material for the entirety of a calendar year. Yet here I sit one year later, and that statement is no longer accurate.

A few things about this book were satisfying:

1) The readings were kept fresh by the sheer variety of contributors, spanning from church fathers just outside the pages of Acts through every century of Christian history right into significant representation of the last 200 years.

2) It was a pleasure to be introduced to a number of substantial devotional sources which were entirely new to me, and it was powerful to see these saints-through-the-centuries plotted right alongside people that I would consider contemporaries in striving to be Christ’s ambassadors in the world today.

3) Every day was not “mountaintop” inspiring. A handful of selections were documents directed at conflicts or heresies which felt distant from my life today. Others were so heavily rooted in specific historical circumstance that application was difficult to make. But these incidents were certainly the exception, whereas the rule was solid spiritual nourishment far more often than not.

4) The daily entries offering great variety in style, making this piece a great bit more interesting than the often formulaic devotional materials that fill many shelves.  While day-to-day reading could provide significant change-ups in tone and flavour, I found myself basking in the diversity, rather than begrudging it.

I would recommend this book to anyone seeking greater awareness of the wells of faith from which one might draw spiritual nourishment. I intend to let it age on my shelf before pulling it off for another go, a few years down the road.  Oscar Wilde has been quoted as saying, “If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.”

While it seems unlikely that Wilde would have ever picked up this particular book, I can confidently say that by his literature-measuring standard, “How Great is Our God” measures up well.

YOUR TURN: What devotional sources have you used that you’d direct people toward OR away from? What are your plans for 2013?  Your input makes this post better!

[You can subscribe to this blog via RSS or email, in the upper right corner of this page.]

“Dad, What’s a Funeral?”

funeral flowersA few Sundays back, I was upgrading my wardrobe from the shirt and pants that I had worn to morning service to a full-blown suit and tie for an afternoon funeral. My four-year-old asked me why I was dressing up. I told her that I was going to a funeral, and in vintage four-year-old fashion, she asked the perfect question…

“Dad, what’s the funeral?”

Is it wrong that I wanted to provide her with a definition that made no mention of death, for fear of not knowing how to answer the next inevitable question?

Thoughts around mortality have rolled through my head more lately than usual.  Some of it is involvement in recent funerals. Some of it is the experience of raising small children and noting how very quickly time seems to pass.  The math doesn’t lie, nor do my joints.  Time is marching on.

Andrew Peterson, on his fantastic new album, says it this way:

And we just can’t get used to being here,
Where the ticking clock is loud and clear,
Children of eternity,
On the run from entropy.

Whatever the specifics, a couple observations linger:

1) Dust to dust is indeed the human reality, and my someday-dust-but-not-yet mind can hardly fathom the concept.  How can it be that friends I enjoyed only weeks ago can no longer exist in the form which I always enjoyed them?  We spoke and laughed and hugged, yet today, all physical traces of that speaking mouth, laughing voice, and embracing frame have vanished.  And my head shakes.

2) My struggle to grasp our own ends pushes me to consider the greater mystery of God’s endlessness.  The Bible portrays the reality that the my bookends of birth and death are merely tiny points upon the infinite shelf of God. Before me and after me, He is the sea in which my life floats.  As Scripture describes it, He goes before me and follows behind me, all the while His hand is upon me.

At times, the sting of death can seem very real.  It cuts through any veneer we have layered on.  It can unnerve us, even undo us.  Andrew Peterson’s lyrics above are affirmed as true: We do not know what to do with death, so much so that one wonders if our original design truly included this wretched feature.

pauseBut as we know, loss feels plenty real.  Sorrow can strike with staggering force.  There is no evading this enemy.  That said, perishing carries a unique perk.  This is why a friend of mine calls death “the great interrupter”.  Nothing hits the pause button as forcefully as death.  Assessments occur; inventory is taken.

In those painfully still moments, sometimes we step back from the canvas just enough to observe the frame on the painting.  And it is then that we observe that life–even in its dust-to-dust nature–is encompassed by One larger than the cosmos.

Surrounded by such loving grandeur, one can indeed walk through the valley of the shadow of death without fear.

YOUR TURN: How have/would you handle discussing death with kids? What have you learned from your run-ins with mortality? Your input makes this post better!

[You can subscribe to this blog via RSS or email, in the upper right corner of this page.]

Bring Your Best

Bring Your Best

This poster is designed by (and available for purchase) at http://www.therussiansusedapencil.com/

You have a gift? You have a best?

Put them together, and serve them up today.

Grace and peace, my friends.

Grace is What Works

There is a pragmatist within each of us.

Bent toward the rational and the results,this inner dweller unintentionally opposes some of God’s most profound movements in our lives.

This logic-loving, get-the-job done approach to life, a staple of the Western society in which I’ve grown up, struggles to grasp the life-Creator, who strangely–yet frequently–insists on operating in “obviously” impractical ways.

Grace is the finest of examples.

The careful reader of the New Testament will quickly observe the inadequacy of human efforts toward salvation. However, that doesn’t stop us from trying! Bent on saving ourselves, proving ourselves, and sustaining ourselves, responsibility and duty–praiseworthy qualities within themselves–kick into hyper-gear.  In the process, pride awakens and pressure builds, all the while we are unaware that we are building brick walls between God’s salvation and our souls.

Legalistic tendencies seem wired into the human hardware.

The hymn-writer called grace “amazing”. We call it “unbelievable”. We may never use the word, but we feel incapable of grasping the concept, and embracing it feels even less likely.  That is the pragmatist within us, speaking with conviction: “Grace is impractical.”  You hear it in the push back we feel obliged to offer against grace, particularly religious or responsible citizens: “What about discipline? Grace alone is too soft; it won’t take people where they need to be. It takes more than grace to transform a life.”

Grace is not practical enough for our liking.

Or perhaps we are not nearly practical enough.

The dynamic at work here is something like John Piper describes in “Desiring God”, a book carrying the subtitle of “Meditations of a Christian Hedonist”. Piper argues that hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure, is an attitude built into the very human nature. Other than spiraling our souls into self-destruction, this pleasure-seeking drive is what drives the soul toward God.  Paradoxically, Piper suggests that the reason we get lost along the way is that we are not nearly hedonistic enough!  Settling for watered down forms of satisfaction, our pursuit of pleasure is revealed as too weak, rather than too strong. We chase happiness like slackers, at the expense of our souls.

C.S. Lewis was developing the same thought when he famously observed:

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

So back to where we began: We resist grace because it seems out-of-touch. “This won’t work in real life,” we critique.  Even more common might be the unspoken thought that Christ’s role in our lives is to provide a much-needed “reset” button. By his death and resurrection, he presses it and we sigh with relief.  We can take another kick at getting things right, in practical and reasonable ways, of course, powered by the fuel of self.

In this sense, we are part of a rich heritage of Christians who don’t get it.  Paul’s question to such folks:

Who has cast an evil spell on you? For the meaning of Jesus Christ’s death was made as clear to you as if you had seen a picture of his death on the cross. 2 Let me ask you this one question: Did you receive the Holy Spirit by obeying the law of Moses? Of course not! You received the Spirit because you believed the message you heard about Christ. 3 How foolish can you be? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort? (Gal.3:1-3)

Beyond the Galatian goofballs, is anyone else’s “reset” button worn out from use?

“Seeking free-flowing forgiveness so we can take another futile kick at life on our terms”: Give me Impractical for $1000, Alex.

And there’s the rub.

Grace, in all its mystery and apparent irrationality, is the most practical of solutions to the human predicament.  The God we dismiss as idealistic or illogical actually, shock of shockers, knows what He’s doing, with His “power move” of offering freedom through surrender and victory through defeat.  Much to our surprise, perhaps chagrin, grace works.

In fact, it is only grace that works.

YOUR TURN: Why does humanity buck so hard against God’s grace?  What do you grasp about grace today that God has faithfully taught you over time?

Please leave your comment below, and enter the conversation.

[You can subscribe to this blog via RSS or email, in the upper right corner of this page. As well, follow me on Twitter ( @JasonBandura ) for 3-4 daily tweets daily of of insightful quotes or intriguing articles, sprinkled with occasional goofiness.]