Over the past couple years, we have purchased a few toys produced by Battat Inc.

Within each toy is a small booklet filled with quotes from children. You can submit your own real-life examples to the company HERE.

Here are a few sources of recent smiles and laughter:

“If mommies make babies, and trees make air, then what do we need daddies for?” (Allison, 4)

“Mommy, how does a bee sting of porcupine?” (Amelia, 4)

Callie, 8: “Do people eat cow tongue?”
Mom: “Yes.”
Callie: “Ewwww… It might have grass on it!”

“The baby is naked… ewwwww! Can’t you eat some parents or something so he isn’t naked?!”  (Haley, 8, upon seeing the 4D ultrasound of the baby)

“Before you say mean things about someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Now they can hear you, and you have a free pair of shoes!” (Hannah, 9)

“Don’t THINK. Just follow mommy’s directions.” (Grace, 6, in car with Grandpa who said, “I think we should turn here.”)

Ethan, 3: “Mom, are these both my grandmas?”
Mom: “This is your great grandma and this is your grandma.”
Ethan: “Oh!! This is my great grandma and this is my bad grandma! Right mom?”

“If you drilled through the earth and came out the other side, you’d be upside down. But if you drove there you’d be right side up. That’s why they have all these roads.” (Sawyer, 5)

“My friends, this is my hooker.” (Adam, 3, while holding a tow truck during show and tell)

“That’s a jellyfish. Now we need to find a peanut butter fish.” (Josephine, 3)

“Mom! Stop!! Be careful, there are boys in the Ivy!” (Robert, 6)

“Did you know my uncle Tony is driving around the country in a winning bagel?” (Sean, 5, telling a relative his uncle was going cross-country in an RV)

“Soda is not good for your body. You drink it and then you want more and more. The next thing you know, you are smoking.” (Alyssa, 5)

“Jazz is my favorite color of music!” (Keeley, 2)

“I’m going to have five children and name them Cabbage, French Toast, Table, Shower, and Chair.” (Skye, 6)

Maddie, 4: “What does it mean that it’s Election Day?”
Mom: “Today everyone picks who they want to be President and run our country.”
Maddie: “Oh. I hope they don’t pick me.”

Water is composed of two gins: Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.” (Sam, 11, in response to question on sixth-grade science quiz)

“it’s not real anymore.” (Brody, 2, referring to “outside” when his car window was rolled)

“Mommy, you’re the most beautiful woman in the whole world I ever saw before I left the house.” (Callie, 2)

“My triceratops is afraid of our dust bunnies.” (Clara, 4)

“If the day I came out of your belly is called my birthday, what is the day I went in called?” (Rio, 4)

YOUR TURN: Any favourites? Any chucklers or stunners you remember coming out of your own kids’ mouths? Your comments make this post better.

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