I Am a Writer

Two days ago, I’d have never typed that title line.

Even today, my fingers fumbled over those keys in that order.

Blame it on Jeff Goins.

He’s stirring my feathers and ruffling my pot.  As my friend Dean winkingly accuses me, “Well, now you’re just meddling!”

Jeff Goins is meddling.

It began with an innocent enough tweet advertising an online series about writing.  There wasn’t any cost, and it only ran fifteen days.  Because my wife and I just had our third child, run an approved home, and pastor a church, I was looking for something to do with the two unclaimed minutes every day.  This seemed to fit.

And it fit quite comfortably.  Until Day 1.

Declaration: That was the opening day’s key concept.  In a sentence, this day was a dare:

The journey of every writer begins with a declaration. If you have written, then you are already a writer. Now you just need to keep writing. To overcome the demons of insecurity and create.

So here’s what I want you to do today: Declare you’re a writer.

And that was the beginning of the end.

He pushed us to speak to a friend, someone who’s opinion really matters to us.  Sitting conveniently by myself at that moment, I timidly typed into my iPhone:

Note to self: I am a writer.

Why the struggle to pump out those twenty-eight keystrokes?   Answering will require five more:

Fear.

It’s exceedingly easier to speak hypothetically, something like comedian Dylan Moran (see him HERE) says about potential:

“People always speak about releasing their potential. Don’t do it! Stay away from your potential. You’ll mess it up, it’s potential, leave it alone. Anyway, it’s like your bank balance – you always have a lot less than you think.”

My long-time dream of being a writer is much safer couched in fuzziness.

Left on my bucket list, it hides deep enough down to be invisible.  Described as a hope, it remains a next-door neighbour to “winning the lottery”.  Relegated to the realm of un-expression, a cloak of protection hangs over me.

No one will roll their eyes at me.  No critique is necessary.  After all, my reference to writing wasn’t “really serious”.  It wasn’t a “dream”, the type you bind yourself to while burning your ships with Cortez.

It was a casual desire… just something that I might have wanted… if it ever worked out… and I ever got a shot… and a genie popped out of a lamp at a garage sale.

Except that isn’t how it feels.

And that is what can change in the moment of declaration.

To push words through my larynx or form black text on white screen: These are reality-forming acts.  They involve a boldness, even a brazenness, an attitude that rattles the bars of the cell just long enough to realize that the keys controlling your freedom are on your ring.

Jeff Goins, you crafty critter!  You’re prepping speech for my tongue that my skills with syntax have never dreamed of drafting.

Yes, I WANT to be a writer.  Of course, I HOPE to be a writer.  These feelings are mine, but they are sufficiently weak, held in check to keep me from danger or disappointment.  They are also strong enough to keep me rooted right here.

But today, where I am, I’ve been dared.  Beyond dared, I’ve been compelled to believe that declaration is dynamite: It shakes foundations and scatters pieces to faraway, never-thought-I-could-go-there shores.

So I declare, as part of my homework (dutiful fellow I am) and part of my hope (daring in small steps I am), that I am a writer.

Sigh.

And one more: Sigh.

Dry gulp.

Slight smile.

Now I intend to act like it.

Safe

Last week, my wife gave birth to our third daughter.

As I held this sweet and tiny bundle today, she sneezed several times, creating snotted nose and running eyes. Unfazed by such substances (Super-Dad I am!), I began swiping and wiping “sans Scotties“. My daughter held stone-still as I cleaned her nose.  But my movement toward her eyes caused a forceful flinch. An audible word escaped my mouth:

“Safe.”

Gently, I urged her toward stillness, “You are safe, my dear one.”

And she took me at my word.

As she stilled, I re-approached. She locked her gaze on me and watched intently as I de-gunked her eyes.  Not a jump, nor a jitter.

Her small shining eyes upon me made wonder:

  • What can she possibly grasp on this day?
  • Can she know with confidence that her Dad will do her no damage?
  • How certain can she be that this still-blurred figure holding her will bring healing rather than harm?

Truths be told: Very little, she cannot, and uncertain at best.

Those dark reflective eyes displayed my face and forced forward a question: How still can YOU lie?

The everything-Maker and forever-Father envisions for us dreams that dwarf our drafts.  He then moves, absolutely aware of what is required to transport us from our “here” to His “there”.  Intimate inspiration, divine discipline, and everything in between: He will use every means necessary to move us.  God’s touch is precise, His nudging as nuanced as need be. He can wield the stick, tend the heart, or de-gunk the eyes, whatever it takes to poke and prod us toward our destiny of overflowing and overwhelming life.

And our “forever issue” is trust.

  • Can I trust Him?
  • Will He hurt me?
  • Does He have my best interests in mind?

Today, my friends, take this to heart: You are safe in God’s hands.

In fact, a more secure spot does not exist.

Rest in it. Revel in it. Look upward at the still-blurred Presence of your Creator, and dare to take Him at His word:

For I know the plans I have for you: Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Call on me and come to me and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Editing this post earlier, my nine-day-old daughter was still in my arms, silently studying my face. Was she certain of my love for her? After barely a week, she cannot know for sure. Yet her peaceful expression spoke to the childlike nature of faith: Here she was in her entirety, in my hands, awaiting me to lovingly touch and teach as I see fit.

That is what good fathers do.

That is what YOUR Father is moving to do today.

Hold still. Trust Him.

“You are safe, my dear one.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday Trick: Keeping Your Tie Straight

Many of my Tuesday Tricks focus on issues of productivity and organization.  Today’s offering will help you look sharp WHILE pursuing such ventures.

Here is Whitson Gordon on how to keep your tie straight without spending a cent OR wearing an awkward tie clip.  (I intend to try this the next time I “tie one on”.  And yes, I feel a suspicion that I may have misused that idiom.)

Saturday Six-Pack (14)

Welcome to the weekend, and thanks for spending some time “Wandering & Wondering”.

This weekend’s Six-Pack features a half-dozen online offerings from the past week.  As usual, these articles are mostly faith-focused or ministry-geared, with a bit of disorderly-pile-of-who-knows-what tossed in!

Today’s edition:

1) Cheap Law
In his latest post for Gospel Coalition, Tullian Tchividjian shares this word: “Jesus shows that because God’s demands are unqualified and undiluted, the grace we desperately need must be unqualified and undiluted.”  He warns that the great problem in the church today is the same problem Jesus addressed in Matthew 5–cheap law, not cheap grace.  He then directs us to a very sharp piece by John Dink.

2) When the Church Lost Its Voice
Scot McKnight summarizes a chapter from Ross Douthat’s recent book, “Bad Religion” that sketches five major shifts that have undermined the faithful witness of the church over the past six decades.

3) The Enemy of Innovation and Creativity
That quest that many of us have toward ever higher levels of efficiency?  Patrick Lencioni has a warning about that.

4) Sectarianism Sucks
Frank Viola’s more proper title opens this piece that includes some powerful text from Watchman Nee on this divisive disease that still damagingly infects Christ’s Body.

5) Five Warning Signs of Declining Church Health
From his archives, Thom Rainer shares these five tip-offs for diagnosing un-health within one’s church before it hits dangerous extents.

6) The Moral Importance of the iPhone
This very brief piece from John Pattison provides a few provocative questions for any of us who depends regularly on technology.

Enjoy your weekend, friends, through renewing yourself and reverencing God.