I just got back from my six-month check-up at the dentist.  Actually, just a cleaning.

But it reminded me of a few facts…

1) I CANNOT relax in that chair.

Over a dozen times, I became aware of my inner coaxing: “Come on Jay.  Loosen that grip.  You don’t have to strangle the arm rest.  Dis-embed your fingers from that spongy surface.  And keep breathing too.  One breath every five minutes isn’t enough–move that air in and out.”

2) Some sort of dental work is ALWAYS brewing for down the road.

Brush, but don’t brush too hard or long or wrong.  Floss, but nobody likes to do it anyway.  Protect your teeth whenever you’re eating or sleeping or playing.  And all the while, know that your gums are receding, plague is building, and you’re slowly sliding towards gumming your meals regardless of your finest efforts.

3) Unflavoured fluoride is the only way to go.

My gag reflex still kicks in from memories of childhood experiments with vanilla, cinnamon, and the infamous bubble gum.  Just typing that last sentence gave me the willies all over again.